


You Forfeit All Rights to Our Hearts

by johnllauren



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cheating, Multi, Polyamory, Social Media, The Reynolds Pamphlet, gangs all here - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 01:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnllauren/pseuds/johnllauren
Summary: Of all the ways to find out her boyfriend cheated on her, a call from her boyfriend’s enemy’s ex-fiance was certainly unexpected.Alexander publishes the details of his affair in the Columbia Daily Spectator. John and Eliza cope with the mess he’s left them. The media jumps on the latest “Schuyler Family Scandal” and twitter has a field day.Best Virginian@thomasjtweeted:Holy shit! Have you seenthis? @jmads @burrsir @monroejames #hamilfuckupJames@jmadstweeted:@thomasj you’re sitting right across from me literally right now





	You Forfeit All Rights to Our Hearts

Of all the ways to find out your boyfriend cheated on her, a call from her boyfriend’s enemy’s ex-fiance was certainly unexpected. 

“Martha? To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

It’s seven in the morning. Eliza is sitting on the bed in her dorm room, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing. 

Eliza hasn’t spoken to Martha since before she broke up with Jefferson - and what was that, four months ago? - as they only really spoke when talking their boyfriends down from getting into fistfights with each other. They were friendly, sure, but only because they didn’t talk politics and never got to know each other. But ever since Martha broke up with Thomas for cheating on her, Eliza hasn’t heard from her. 

“Eliza, I just called to tell you I’m so sorry.” Martha says, and she sounds solemn. 

“You’re sorry? What happened?” Eliza asks. 

“Oh, Eliza, haven’t you heard?” 

“Heard of what? If it’s something that Thomas has done, it’s not your place to apologize -” 

Martha cuts her off. “Read the spectator, as soon as you get the chance. And don’t check twitter until you do.” 

She’s being too cryptic. “I - okay.” Eliza has already decided to open twitter. 

The first tweet she sees is from Buzzfeed, and the headline of the article is “Eliza Schuyler’s Long-Term Boyfriend Proves He’s Actually Awful.” 

“ _What?_ ” She says aloud. 

Martha is silent. 

“Listen, Martha, I - God, I have to go.” She hangs up before Martha can even say anything else. 

With shaking hands and a sinking feeling in her stomach, she clicks on the article. 

It’s listed under “celebrity gossip” - god, when has she become a ‘celebrity’ - and right under the headline there’s a big picture of her and Alexander together at a charity banquet last year. 

She starts reading. 

\-- 

“Human rights activist Elizabeth Schuyler, perhaps most well known for her work with the Trevor Project and with her own non-profit, Poly Pals, where she works to take down the stigma against polyamorous relationships, is now part of Columbia University’s hottest scandal. The daughter of Philip Schuyler, the New York senator, former CEO of the car company Revolution, and philanthropist, has just seemingly been publicly broken up with. 

“Alexander Hamilton, her long-term boyfriend, has published what he’s dubbed ‘The Reynolds Pamphlet’ in the _Columbia Daily Spectator._ In the article, he goes into explicit detail about cheating on his two partners, Ms. Schuyler and LGBT rights activist John Laurens, with Maria Reynolds, another undergraduate at Columbia University. 

“Within the article, he admits to having ‘secret meetings’ with her, most of them in his own dorm room, and then explains the exact sex acts the couple performed. He later goes on to say he paid Reynolds’s boyfriend over $1,000 to keep the affair a secret from the press and his partners. 

“As of the publication of this article, there is no news about his partners’ responses to this development. The ‘pamphlet’ has already become a hot topic of discussion at Columbia University, with ‘#hamilfuckup trending locally on twitter. Ms. Reynolds has already deactivated her twitter. More updates on this situation as it unfolds.” 

\--

Eliza drops the phone onto her bed. Her hand covers her mouth as she emits a noise halfway between a hiccup and a sob. 

“ _Lafayette?_ ” She calls. Her roommate said they were going to wash their face five minutes ago, and they haven’t returned, and she really needs somebody to hug her right now. 

“Hey Siri, call Best Roomie,” Eliza says aloud, her voice still shaky. 

Siri obliges and calls Lafayette, who picks up on the second ring. “Oui?” 

“Laf, come back here and check twitter.” she says. 

“Is everything okay?” They ask. 

Eliza’s voice breaks. “Alex cheated.” 

Lafayette pauses. “Should I wake John?” 

“Okay.” She sounds sniffly, but somehow the tears haven’t started. 

“Liza, I love you, I’ll be there soon, and I’ll bring John. And I’ll get those apple tarts you like from the dining hall.” They say, their voice soft and coddling. 

“Thank you. I love you, Laf.” she answers. 

“Do you need me to stay on the phone?” 

“No… no thanks. I’m okay.” She hangs up and, regrettably, goes back to checking twitter. 

\-- 

Best Virginian **@thomasj** tweeted:  
Holy shit! Have you seen  this? @jmads @burrsir @monroejames #hamilfuckup

James **@jmads** tweeted:  
@thomasj you’re sitting right across from me literally right now  
     Best Virginian **@thomasj** tweeted:  
     Holy shit! Have you read  this? @jmads @burrsir @monroejames #hamilfuckup

Not Madison **@monroejames** tweeted:  
Hamilton had two partners and he cheated on both of them, lmao #hamilfuckup

Best Virginian **@thomasj**  
Every CU student NEEDS to pick up the daily spectator. Right. Now. #hamilfuckup 

\-- 

 

The coffee has finished brewing, and Eliza is half-paying attention when she pours herself a cup and puts way too much cream and sugar in it. She’s in the middle of trying to sip it without spilling when the door opens, revealing Laf and a very sleepy-looking John. 

“‘Liza? What’s up?” John asks, sitting down next to her, placing his head on her shoulder, his eyes already drooping closed. 

Lafayette hands her one of the tarts she likes wrapped in a paper towel and smiles sadly, sitting down on their bed. They’re holding two copies of the Spectator, which Eliza is trying very pointedly not to look at. 

“Alex cheated.” Eliza says, and then she’s honest-to-god crying, with tears and sobs and hands over her face and everything. 

Laf springs into action, taking a seat on Eliza’s bed next to her, putting her coffee cup down and gathering her into their arms while she cries. She rests her head on their shoulder while her own shoulders shake. 

“...He what?” John is awake now, but he looks like a puppy that was just hit with a rolled-up newspaper. 

“He - he _cheated on us!_ ” Eliza barks, a little too violently, grabbing one of the copies of the Spectator from Lafayette’s hand. “He published it in the Spectator. He wrote porn of himself and some girl in the _fucking_ Spectator.” 

Laf hands the other newspaper to John, who takes it with shaky hands and opens it to the front page. There it is - in a column on the first page. Sure enough, the title is “ _The Reynolds Pamphlet_ ” and right underneath is the sentence “I cheated on my partners but I never stole money from Columbia.” Underneath that? “By Alexander Hamilton.” 

John shakes his head. “No. No he didn’t, oh my god, no he didn’t.” 

“It’s all over twitter.” Eliza moans. There are tear tracks down her cheeks, her neck, and wet spots all over her pajama shirt. Her face is red from crying, and anger, and embarrassment. “They’re all talking about him. There’s a BuzzFeed article about us.” 

Laf rubs her back gently. 

John starts reading the article. “Do either of you want to read…?” 

“No.” They both answer at the same time. 

Lafayette hands Eliza her coffee, and she drinks the entire thing in one sip. 

They sit there for God knows how long, and at least nobody calls (Eliza and Laf are the only people crazy enough to wake up at 7 in the morning - Eliza because she’s a morning person and Laf because they spend for-fucking-ever getting ready) for a while. John sits and reads the entire article Alexander wrote. Nobody speaks for a long time. 

Suddenly, John chokes on his own tears. 

They both look up. 

“He published their sexts.” John chokes out. 

Eliza looks up at him, and her mouth hangs open, but no sounds come out. Fresh tears fall. 

“‘They both have a gender studies class at noon. It’s an hour and a half, and I plan on spending the whole time with you in nothing but that red -’” 

“ _Cher,_ nobody wants to hear that.” Laf (thankfully) cuts him off. 

Eliza looks like she’s been struck. “He wrote that?” 

John nods. He looks queasy. “They sexted almost every day. This isn’t even all of them. Fuck, Liza, they -” 

She looks for him to continue. 

“I’m gonna be sick.” He clamps a hand over his mouth and darts out the door, probably to the bathroom. 

Eliza grabs the newspaper to see what made him sick. 

She skims through lines and lines of the two of them talking about what they would do if Maria was ‘here right now’ (she wants to _bleach_ her _eyes_ ) and then she finds it. 

“What?” Laf asks. 

“They only did it in ‘the privacy’ of Alex’s dorm. All over the dorm. _His and John’s_ dorm.” 

“ _Oh._ ” 

“Whenever John wasn’t home.” Eliza continues. 

“He thinks it’s his fault, doesn’t he?” 

“I hope not.” 

When John returns, he’s noticably paler and he’s biting his lip so bad it’s bleeding. “Columbia awakens,” He comments dryly. 

“Fuck.”

“And let me assure you, everyone’s heard about it. I haven’t gotten that many pitiful looks since my dad kicked me out.” John says. 

Eliza shakes her head. “Oh God.” 

“Also, there’s another update - not only is there a BuzzFeed article, the New York Post has hopped onto this god awful train.” 

“The _Post_?” Laf demands. “Fuck, you guys are famous.” 

\-- 

Dolley **@itsdolleynotdorothea** tweeted:  
No surprise: every boy at CU is a snake #hamilfuckup 

Martha **@iplaymyownviolin** tweeted:  
@elizaschuyler @jlaur I hope the two of you are okay.  <3 #hamilfuckup 

\-- 

Between the three of them, they use up an entire box of K-cups. Eliza and John could really go for an entire cake, but they don’t want to leave the room before they have to. Despite knowing they shouldn’t, they spend the next hour on twitter. 

“Cosmo compiled a list of the ‘top ten Schuyler family scandals’ and this one - the ‘Reynolds Affair’ - tops the list. Before you ask, number two is the time Angelica got into a fistfight with a racist on national television.” John says, not looking up from his phone. 

Eliza rolls her eyes. “Please. _Alexander’s_ fuck-ups are not a Schuyler family problem. He used to be part of the family. Trust me, he’s gone.” She snaps. “And that racist totally had it coming.” 

John almost laughs. 

“Hey, uh, I know that we’re both, like, breaking up with Alex,” (Alex hadn’t mentioned a single thing about Eliza and John in the article, but they’ve already decided on dumping his ass) “but, uh, if you don’t mind me asking, what does that mean for the two of us-” 

Eliza cuts him off by kissing him. He grins and kisses her back. 

Their faces are both wet with tears, and they both taste salty, but it’s still the two of them. John didn’t have time to put on his cologne, so he just smells like himself. He’s soft, and caring, and he moves Eliza’s hair from her face while he rests his hand on her neck. Eliza smiles, and then John smiles, and then it becomes really hard to kiss when they’re both smiling so much. 

Laf shakes their head. “Okay, now that you guys are a little preoccupied, I’m starving, so I’m going to the dining hall. And before you ask, I will not talk to Jefferson and I will not pass go.” 

Eliza and John stop kissing for a moment to acknowledge them. Eliza ruffles their hair and thanks them and tells them they’d better come back here with a bottle of water, because crying makes you fucking thirsty. 

\-- 

Hercules Mulligan **@bestRAever** tweeted:  
Why is it always the kids in my residence hall 

The French One **@itsjustlafayette** tweeted:  
@bestRAever If you were really the best RA you’d have us under control  
      Hercules Mulligan **@bestRAever** tweeted:  
      Why is it always the kids in my residence hall 

\-- 

Angelica **@aschuyler** tweeted:  
#hamilfuckup INDEED. 

Angelica **@aschuyler** tweeted:  
There’s a reason nobody fucks with the schuylers and someone is about to find it out. #hamilfuckup 

Angelica **@aschuyler** tweeted:  
@Cosmopolitan Hamilton isn’t a part of the Schuyler family anymore. This isn’t a Schuyler family scandal. This is a child’s fuckup. #hamilfuckup #andyoucallthatjournalism  
      Cosmo **@Cosmopolitan** tweeted:  
      This new Schuyler fam scandal tops the list of the most scandalous Schuyler scandals! To see the other nine we put on our list, click  here!

Angelica **@aschuyler** tweeted:  
If any Columbia kids wanna help me out, I’d like pictures of the original article from the spectator so I know exactly how much work I have to do. Sometimes going to Oxford has drawbacks. #hamilfuckup 

\-- 

Eliza gets a notification as soon as Angelica tweets. So she’s seen the article. Her older sister still hasn’t called yet, probably because neither her nor John have indicated that they’re awake, but as soon as they do, Eliza knows they’ll be getting a call. 

Maybe five minutes after Angelica starts tweeting, there’s a knock at the door. 

John looks confused. “Is that… Angelica?” 

Eliza shakes her head. “No. I mean, she’s a force of nature, but there’s no way she got all the way here from England already. I don’t think she’s planning to come back from Oxford just because Alexander fucked up, anyway.” 

John seems to think that’s a fine answer, because he stands and checks the peephole. It’s Peggy, Eliza’s younger sister. 

He opens the door. “Good morning, Peggy.” he says. 

Peggy looks like she’s just woken up. Her hair is everywhere, and she’s still in her duckling pajamas. “John? Oh my god, how are you?” she hugs him before he can even answer. 

After she begrudgingly lets go of him, John lets her in and closes the door. She rushes to find Eliza, who wraps her in an embrace. 

Peggy sits on Laf’s bed. “Angelica called me until I woke up. She made me check on you. Fuck, ‘Liza, I’m so sorry. I’d offer to kill him for you, but, y’know, with my own animal rights organization, I really shouldn’t be killing animals.” 

That earns her a few laughs. 

Eliza shakes her head. “I don’t fucking get it - I never - I never…” She was about to say she never expected him to do something like this, but that’s a lie. She’s seen what he’s like around women. 

“What are you gonna do?” 

She shrugs. “I’m gonna go to class. And I’m gonna kick his ass by being successful to spite him.” 

“Hell yeah.” Peggy grins. 

It’s already almost nine, so most of the university is awake. #hamilfuckup starts trending worldwide after Angelica tweets it from Philip Schuyler’s twitter account (something she’s probably going to be scolded for). More of their friends start coming in until there’s hardly any space on the bed. 

Lafayette returns shortly after Peggy arrives, holding a box of apple tarts from the women who work at their favorite dining hall (the women speak French, and they had spent five minutes explaining to them everything that happened, and they responded by both tweeting using #hamilfuckup and then gave them a box of tarts to bring to John and Eliza, offering their condolences). Hercules walks in right behind them, pretending to be an RA making sure everything is okay but really just being a caring friend. Martha knocks on the door to give Eliza and John hugs and tells them that if they need anything to let her know. She also gives them cookies. 

\-- 

You have ONE [1] missed call from: BURR  
You have ONE [1] new voicemail from: BURR 

“Hey, John, it’s Burr. I’m just checking in to make sure everything is okay with you and Eliza. I heard about what happened with Hamilton. I don’t know if you’re coming to class later, but if you want to take a day off, I understand - I can give you the notes.” 

\-- 

Eliza spends the morning playing shitty emo breakup music - which she and John scream along to -, eating Martha’s cookies and the tarts, talking to her friends, and occasionally crying but just a little. She doesn’t get dressed until 9:30, when she can’t delay getting ready for class any longer. 

“You’re seriously going to class?” Herc asks. 

Eliza nods. “The only way to show he isn’t getting to me is to show up. Besides, I don’t have this class with him.” 

“Eliza, you’re flawless.” 

She wears her favorite blue dress because it always makes her feel better. Peggy braids her hair, and then she wears a hat in case she has to pull it over her eyes. Eliza grabs her bag and heads out the door with twenty minutes until class, just enough time to pretend like she’s running late. 

The looks and stares she gets while walking to class are unparalleled, but Eliza pretends not to notice. John had offered to walk her to class, like, ten times, but she refused. She isn’t someone who needs a boy to make her feel alright. 

She’s Elizabeth fucking Schuyler, dammit, and she doesn’t need a boy to make her feel whole. 

It’s really hard to focus in a class when everyone, including the TA, is staring at her, as if she’s the latest hot television show. She bets twitter is having a field day. 

\--

Angelica **@aschuyler** tweeted:  
Heathrow is surprisingly not that crowded right now! #airportlife #hamilfuckup

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at lafayettesass (also comments are so so appreciated :>)


End file.
